I thought I may as well pimp Brandon’s Fablehaven 5: Keys to the Demon Prisonrelease party tonight, even though it will certainly have a half-gajillion people attending as is.  If you’re interested, it’s being held at Cottonwood High School (5715 S. 1300 E.) in Salt Lake City, where Brandon went to school.  The event is scheduled to last from 6:00 p.m. to 11:00!  Five hours, crazy, huh.  I suspect that about an hour of that will be a cool presentation (similar to the release party I attended two years ago) and the next four hours will be people milling about having fun at games and stands while Brandon signs a book every ten seconds.  (For those trying to do the math, one book every ten seconds means six books a minute, 360 an hour, and 1440 over those four hours.  1440 books in an evening.  Makes you wonder why he bothers.)

Just for the record, Brandon Mull is a good writer, an even better storyteller, and a nice guy who works really hard on top of it.  He’s one success story that earns cheers from me, because he genuinely deserves it and has more than earned it by pounding the pavement.  So if you’re interested, go be a face in the crowd (mob?) and throw your support behind the already speeding train that is Mr. Mull.

Also, Sydney Salter is doing a little fundraiser for Room To Read, an organization that builds libraries and champions literacy world wide.  For every person who posts a comment on this blog posting she will donate a dollar.  So go!  Help and be heard!

Sorry I’ve been even less attentive to this blog than normal.  My reason—yes, reason, not excuse or justification—is that I’m starting a new book.  Really just the proposal package, which means the first three chapters, a synopsis, and a cover letter, but doing that requires that I pretty much know where I’m going with the entire story.  Sticking with my typical method, I can’t share too much about the story, but I will tell you that it mixes a Korean boogeyman myth with teen girl lit.  Yeah, that’s right, and I dare you to use that to figure out what I have mind. 

It’s Spring Break at SLCC so I’ve set the goal of finishing the sample chapters by this Saturday.  Three chapters, roughly 7-8,000 words, in a week shouldn’t be too tough.  As of this morning I’m to about 5,500 words and am nearly done with chapter two.  Right on pace.  It’s impossible to know if a rough draft is good or not, especially as our emotions so often lie to us during composition, but I feel pretty good given how new and different this genre and perspective are.  I’m writing from the POV of a 14-year-old Korean-American girl, first person, so there’s a lot that’s new there.  I’ll keep you updated, hopefully with greater frequency once the rough draft of these chapters is finished.

In preparation for writing this new story, I’ve been reading some teen girl lit with a strong voice and powerful, traumatic emotions.  That isn’t all I’ve been reading, but it has added titles to the list that I wouldn’t likely have picked up otherwise.  So here’s a rundown of the books and authors I’ve been reading in recent months and why:

- Sara Zarr.  Sara’s a friend and member of several local writer’s organizations with me, and I’ve been hearing about her work for a long time.  It isn’t the type of stuff I read normally, but this new story gave me a good reason to try her writing.  It’s good.  Very good, in fact, if Sweathearts is any indication.  (And I hear her other books are better.)  So I’m picking up Story of a Girl (her National Book Award nominated debut) and Once Was Lost next.    

- Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.  Another teen book, very strong voice and equally difficult subject matter.  It was very good, though I did feel that sometimes the dark, jaded slant of the protagonist was a little excessive.  Dark humor can lose it’s theraputic value if used too often, which I felt occasionally made this protagonist feel just a touch artificial.  But that’s pretty particular criticism; overall, very well done.

- Dune by Frank Herbert.  I’ve read this book before, of course, but not since I was a teen.  I knew I liked it, but I’d forgotten just how much.  Aside from Herbert’s affinity or jumping heads within a scene (which I sometimes find distracting) and his italicizing thoughts (which always irritates me when done as frequently as Herbert does), it’s a near-perfect book.  Great drama, fine characterization, fantastic dialogue, all communicating really complex and important ideas.  The rest of the series is less cohesive than the first book, but it’s definitely a worthwhile read.  It’s a great study into what it means to be human and how intricately that is tied to our ability to hope.  It will always be one of my top recommendations.

- Kate DiCamillo.  I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m not as familiar with children’s lit as I am adult, and that since I started writing for kids I’ve been trying to catch up.  In that rush, I’ve found no children’s writer that I more admire and even envy than Kate.  The Magician’s Elephant, The Tale of Despereaux, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, all fantastic.  They’re books I wish I had written.  I still want to be Neil Gaiman when I grow up, put now I’d like a bit of DiCamillo thrown in as well.

- Terry Pratchett’s The Fifth Elephant.  A Discworld novel I’d not read before, it was typical Pratchett, which means it is anything but typical.  Life is always better with a little Pratchett added to the mix.

- Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations and R.L. Stine’s Welcome to Dead House.  The first I reread and the second I read for the first time in preparation for UELMA a few weeks ago. 

- I just started Dan Wells’ I Am Not a Serial Killer.  While I’m not much of a horror reader, I’m impressed by Dan’s craftsmanship and his ability to tread the very fine line he needs to tell the story without losing sympathy for the protagonist.

- The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  Good, well-written story, but I’m not as high on it as many others.  I found that a number of things in the story felt implausible, which made the experience less authentic than I would have liked.

- Next on the list (if I ever find the time) The Gathering Storm by Brandon Sanderson and Robert Jordan.  Hey, I put them in the order I consider proper given how the book was written.     

Adios.

ayarbo wrote:

I have a question…how do you know in which genre you have written when your novel has several elements of many? Can you recommend any books/references?

Books?  Orson Scott Card’s How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy and Talking about Detective Fiction by P.D. James come to mind.  There’s also a book… just let me look it up… On Writing Romance: How to Craft a Novel That Sells by Leigh Michaels (which I have not read).  Stephen King’s On Writing addresses the three levels of horror writing (terror, horror, and blood and guts basically), if I remember correctly.  I know more books about writing different forms, such as screenplays or short stories, rather than genres. 

As for your question of how do you know what you’re writing, my suggestion is to distill your story to its essence.  Get rid of trappings or elements that are peripheral, or even central in a purely plot sense.  Every story is, at its heart, simple: what is the central conflict and what, ultimately, is at stake?  I’m afraid I can’t be more specific than that without knowing particulars of your story, but here are some broad guidelines:

Fantasy: The impossible/unexplainable plays a vital role in character evolution and resolution to the story.

Science Fiction: Extrapolation of the hypothetical or possible plays a vital role in character evolution and resolution of the story, and usually in offering an idea or commentary about current life.

Horror: Evil or malevolence find some form of personification or expression designed to challenge readers with their own negative emotions for the purpose of catharsis.

Literary: Commentary on society (mostly contemporary) that fosters ambiguity and develops conflict to its most complex and leaves the reader to supply a final resolution.

Inspirational: Conflict is overcome in a manner designed to validate morality and basic human goodness, often attached to religion and spirituality.

Adventure: Plot driven stories that play heavily on exterior stakes, mostly using a male protagonist who cannot change too severely over the course of the story because substantial capability is required from the beginning.

Romance: All other elements and stakes of the story are subjugated to the fate of one or a small number of potential romantic relationships.

Women’s: Relationships and societal forces challenge and facilitate evolution of a woman as an individual or women as a close group.

Mystery: A story about what is going to happen or why did something happen.

Thriller: A story about will the protagonist survive significant harm or tragedy while trying to resolve a crisis or question. 

And, just in an attempt to helpful, here are some tips about writing for specific ages:

Children’s: The story resolves allowing children to still be children.

YA: The story resolves with children being forced to adopt some adult skill sets.

Adult: The story is not one of the previous, or looks upon childhood or youth with a measure of nostalgia.

Does that help, ayarbo?  If you want more specific feedback on what your story may be just head to my contact page and give me a short summary.

While the conference isn’t actually over for another few hours, it is for me.  Because I’m tired.  And my panels are all finished, so I’ve come back home to medicate my knees and tell you all the interesting (to me, at least) bits I remember.  (Things do have a tendency to blur at these things.)

Thursday

The conference started off with an interesting panel on writing style, after which I talked with Lisa Mangum about a requested manuscript of mine that’s apparently disappeared in some vortex at Shadow Mountain.  She said she isn’t in the vortex neighborhood (acquisitions) any more, but that believe it or not there is  bottom to the singularity and, yes, a fourteen month wait probably is a good sign in this case.  Having decided I would take what I could get in the optimism department, I headed to a presentation on open source software that made me aware of a few tools that may be very, very helpful.  (I’d never even heard of GIMP, which is apparently an open source graphic program in the vein of PhotoShop, for example.)  After this, I attended a panel on Mormons writing, reading, and editing horror fiction, mostly because Michael Collings (formerly of Pepperdine) took part, and I always love hearing him speak and teach.

Nathan Hale (who works with Shannon Hale on the Rapunzle graphic novels but is not her husband, brother, or othersuch, but is a scion of the Hale theater dynasty) then gave the day’s keynote address, which was a blend of three presentations that wasn’t exactly seemless and was better for it.  It was fun, as were the substantial number of flying fish (the helicopter rather than the standard species).   

Then came my first panel of the conference: Putting Romance in Fantasy.  Other panelists included Mette Harrison (who was a fine moderator in addition to contributing a great deal), Ami Chopine, Lesli Muir Lytle, and Anna del C. Dye.  We talked about romance as a concept apart from romance as a genre, which I thought was important, and I even thought to bust out one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes.  A number of people complimented me on the panel over the weekend, so I must have said something constructive, which is the goal.   

Soon after I took part in my second panel of the day, which addressed why so many mothers and dogs and such die in children’s stories.  My friend and former editor Stacy Whitman (who is moving to New York, hurray!) served as moderator and panelist as she pitched questions at two good friends, Julie Wright and Paul Genesse, and myself.  Much of the time was spent establishing the difference between a trope and a cliche, which is a really important distinction.

Oh, I almost forgot.  That night I was invited to a goodbye dinner for Stacy at Bangkok Grill in Orem (about 8th south and 3rd east, I believe).  It was quite a gathering.  Stacy went to BYU with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Howard Taylor, and a bunch of others now in the writing/publishing world, and they kindly let me attend with the rest of the clan.  It was kind of a thing to see, about twenty-five or thirty of us, a surprising number published writers (some very famous).  Here’s all you need to know: 1) Bangkok Grill is very good (Howard knows his Thai food) so you should go.  Frequently.  2)  Talking about methods of procuring and utilitzing tape worms for medicinal use is not the best subject for dinner conversation, but it can and does happen.  3)  If you think a writer is an especially capable, interesting, or admirable kind of person, never, ever go to dinner with a gang of us.  I fit in that night.  That means you will be disappointed to the brink of suicide.  4) Eating spicy food at night does not hinder my sleep, for which I am profoundly grateful.       

Friday

I was on the first panel of the morning, which filled up despite the hour (9:00 am) because of a really strong lineup: Guest of Honor and NY Times Bestseller Brandon Sanderson, the certified and certifiable schlock genius Howard Taylor, good buddy and perpetual puzzle James Dashner, and Larry Correia and Karen Hoover, neither of whom I knew but both certainly held their own on this heavyweight panel.  I hope I did the same, because this session earned a lot of praise—perhaps because it ranged from imbibing Essence of Payton Manning (you will live a happier life if you don’t ask) to the redneck fairies in Larry’s work to Brandon’s taking “Rapunzel’s hair” and “Sponge Bob” and transmuting them into a story about a space elevator constructed of impervious, semi-divine keratin which facilitates the discovery of a race of sentient sponges.  Yeah, if you weren’t there, you missed out.  That fifty minutes will never be replicated.

Marty Brenneis was the day’s keynotes, and he showed how George Lucas’s special effects company did every single cool thing you’ve ever seen on film.  It was a blast!  (Very literally.)  

At noon I was scheduled for a signing, which eventually happened though it looked for a long time that it wouldn’t.  There was some miscommunication between event organizers and the BYU Bookstore, and myself along with quite a few other authors found none of our books were available to buy.  When I discovered this the previous day I allowed my frustration to get the better of me for a while, but a very kind and patient woman named Tami arranged for me to sell on consignment and all went swimmingly.  They even got a sign with my name printed out in three hours!  I’m telling you, that girl is magic.  I signed some books over the course of the hour and talked to more people, so it turned out great.  A few other ladies at the bookstore helped me along with Tami though I didn’t catch their names.  Thanks, ladies.       

An hour later came my second panel of the day on writing authentic child characters.  Other panelists were Julie Wright (a much better moderator than she gives herself credit for), Dene Low (Laura Card), Laura Bingham, Bron Bahlmann (who is sixteen and truly deserved his seat!), myself, and James Dashner doing his best Jeff Savage impression as Jeff didn’t make it.  (For the record, it was more of a James doing Jeff doing a spot-on James Dashner impression.)  Again, things went well.  I didn’t know Dene or Laura very well, but they were both impressive.  Bron made me feel both old and a touch slow, which is a striking concoction of inferiority.  I’m a bit embarrassed that I laughed when James explained his process of secondary character creation, but it wasn’t insulting at all, at least, it wasn’t meant to be.  It was a result of perplexity.  James just writes good stories, much in the way the wind blows.  He’s so instinctive where I’m analytic.  He’ll tell you frankly he doesn’t know how or why about much of his process and, equally frankly, it’s like an itch I can’t scratch.  I gotta know how that brain works!  I swear, if he’s ever foolish enough to take a nap near me when we’re alone I’m going to find some scissors or something and poke around in his brain.  James, you have been warned.

I wrapped up the day with a really interesting presentation by Bryan Beus, a visual artist who reminds me a lot of myself in his approach to art.  He presented on archetypes and the monomyth in narrative from a largely visual point of view, which I found fascinating.  It really was like looking at a very familiar subject through lenses just that much different from what you’re used to.  We talked for a minute afterward and it was clear that there was some methodological kinship there.  I’m really glad I went.

Saturday

I’m always a bit drained by the third day of a conference and I was only on one Saturday panel, so I planned on keeping things short.  The day started off pleasantly when Brandon Mull and I parked near each other and walked into the Wilkinson Center together.  We caught up a bit and talked shop.  Brandon is one of the very successful writers who has and continues to pound the pavement like a madman.  He’s visited, I don’t know, a thousand schools over the years?  Whatever the actual number, he’s a legend in the local children’s writing world for his energy and work ethic.  When you add that to a terrific storyteller and a genuinely nice guy, you get someone who’s always nice to cross paths with.

Again, my panel was the first of the day (though my second on romance, go figure).  Where before I was the only guy on the romance panel, this was all men: moderator John Brown (who I got to know at dinner on Thursday), fellow Dragonlance writer Dan Willis, and L.E. Modesitt Jr (Lee) in addition to myself.  I thought this panel was fantastic, though Lee did disagree with me a few times (ouch!).  I can’t complain, honestly.  This was a good panel with the four of us dealing with pretty nuanced stuff, from sociological theory to narrative craftsmanship.  There was a lot of interplay and, I think, really actionable information for those in attendance.  I was glad to be a part and look forward to future events with all these men (though the topic of romance seems unlike as a future place for us to meet up). 

Then I spent an hour or two talking with a lovely nineteen-year-old woman about her book—or, you might say, abusing her by suggesting so many options for revision it certainly gave her a headache.  I’d use her name, but she insists she’s a thirty-plus married with two children.  I don’t want to expose her identity as a bald (and very young)-faced liar.

Then I went to two panels on worldbuilding.

Then I came home to write to you.    

Other things I’ll report (which you may or may not want to know):

* People ask me to take pictures with them, and this happened three times at LTUE.  I always agree, but still find this to be extremely odd.  Rather like taking pictures of a can of soup.  There is nothing particularly off putting about a can of soup, certainly, but neither is it possessed of a rare aesthetic quality.  Whenever I’m asked to take a picture with someone, a single thought fills my head: stop looking so confused.

* James Dashner’s entrance in a room is sometimes accomplied by applause, only some of which is sarcastic.  Brandon Sanderson’s is accompanied by greater applause, none of it sarcastic.  Mine is accompanied by no applause.  All of this strikes me as logical.

* Paul Genesse wrote some very generous things (perhaps overly so) on his blog after our Thursday afternoon panel.  He actually posted it that day—after being on four panels!  Like Brandon Mull, Paul too is a machine in synthetic flesh.     

* The Brandons Mull and Sanderson signed books for my brother and his wife.  I will now be even cooler to their family.  (My nephew, who will be four tomorrow, thinks I’m pretty awesome already, so just wait until he can read the dedication to GDC.)

* Best panelist of the conference: L.E. Modesitt Jr.  Yeah, yeah, that guy who kind of sort of disagreed with me about some stuff.  I may not agree with him on everything, but I do most things—and the guy knows his craft and knows how to talk about it.  I admire and respect his balance of intellectual orientation in the disciplines of economics, politics, and other social dynamics with the truly idiosyncratic nature of telling a story.  He’s one who does it right, if you ask me (though he’d be the first to point out that a million other ways can be just as right).  The Brandons, Howard Taylor, and Dan Wells among others are always standouts, but this weekend’s cream was Lee (which, unfortunately, rose only on Saturday as he was supporting his wife with an event she is holding this weekend).  If you ever get a chance to hear Lee talk about writing, don’t pass it up, I’m telling you.    

* My friend Eric Swedin and I still have yet to appear on the same panel, which is beginning to threaten mathematical probability as we know it.  My five panels were, I believe, more than the allotment to anyone not a very special guest.  For his part, Eric is so omni-present at this thing that it is unofficially known as Life, the Universe, and Eric.  (This may become official next year depending on Eric’s generosity and the conference’s poverty.)  I’m impatient to sit with him at the same covered table brimming with mics and free water, do you hear me!

* At my book signing a lady picked up my book, started to read, and in about a minute laughed long and hard out loud.  That was cool.

* Yup, LTUE was all good.

Susanne asked:

What is the difference between Science Fiction and Speculative Fiction?

Consider speculative fiction something of a super-genre, or a category that includes several mainstream genres: fantasy, science fiction, and horror.  Each of these genres then split off into multiple sub-genres (think high fantasy or military sci-fi).  It is called speculative fiction because these stories all have a major speculative element, or something that is not factual in reality.  Fantasy is usually defined by something magical or mystical; science fiction involves something that may theoretically be possible given extrapolation of our current understanding of natural law; horror generally involves some incarnate of evil, whether literal or metaphorical, often a being or entity of some sort (which is what differentiates horror from thriller).   

So, you can think of speculative fiction as the big tent under which fantasy, science fiction, and horror all reside.  I use the term speculative fiction more than most because much of what I write doesn’t fit cleanly into any of the three main genres under the tent.  This is sometimes called a ”slipstream” story, or a story that slips from one genre to another and back.  I find it easier to call my writing speculative because it doesn’t mislead people into expecting something more well defined, which much of my writing isn’t.  If people read some of my stories expecting high or epic fantasy because it’s called fantasy, they’ll be confused and maybe disappointed.      

Next post: an update on my visits to Farnsworth and Jordan Ridge Elementaries.

Vivia wrote the following:

I plan to attend the workshop each month. Do you attend regularly? I am willing to learn, and would welcome any advice you can give me.

If you mean the Oquirrh chapter meeting of the League of Utah Writers, I attend as often as I can. It was the first writers organization of any kind I ever became involved with, and through the people I met there a lot of important things have happened in my career. Also, I’ve made a lot of friends in the group, as well as throughout the other chapters of the League. So I go as often as I can.

Back to Vivia:

What does LTUE stand for?

Life, the Universe, and Everything: The Marion K. “Doc” Smith Symposium on Science Fiction & Fantasy. No, I’m not making that up. 2010 is the 28th annual holding of the conference. Er, um, symposium. I believe one’s nose must be slightly elevated in a snooty way to pronounce that word properly, by the way. That’s why I call it a conference. I can do snooty, but not very well.

Vivia (a name I am going to “borrow” for a character at some point) concludes with:

Hope to someday read one of your books. I will get one as soon as possible.

As things hoped for go, this is about the grandest of them all. World peace is almost as good.

Now to practice my assembly presentation a few times before visiting Farnsworth Elementary later today. Not that I’m complaining, not at all, but I’m still a little perplexed at how intelligent, responsible adults can knowingly and willingly expose large numbers of children to me. I’m pretty sure my odd breed of madness is catching. Oh well. Who doesn’t appreciate 300 tetched elementary students?

L.T. Elliot wrote the following in response to my post about waiting:

I hate to sound preachy but have you thought of submitting elsewhere? A year’s a long time and unless you have some specific agreement with these individuals, I would consider sending out your MS to other venues. You’re a good writer, Clint. I wouldn’t wait to see if other fish take the bait.

First off, thank you very much for the compliment.  As for thoughts on submitting elsewhere, yes, I have considered it seriously.  What I’ve decided is to do my best to have my cake and eat it too.  I think the book is a terrific fit with this particular publisher, and that combined with a strong recommendation I received make me think that my chances with this house are about as good as they come in this industry.  For these reasons, I’ve wanted to respect their exclusivity for the time being—at least among publishers.

What I have done is submitted the book to agents.  That doesn’t count as a multiple submission, so no breaking the exclusivity I promised.  Meanwhile, if a really good agent falls for the book before a contract offer is extended, I’ll be able to discuss the next step with them.  If they believe that submitting to other houses is the best step, I’ll do that; if they want to approach the current publisher and seek a deal, I’ll do that.  If, on the other hand, the publisher does offer a deal first, I’ll contact my top agents and tell them that an offer is on the table and I’d be interested in exploring representation.  Either way, it works well for me.

So that’s the situation in more depth, L.T.  I don’t have all my eggs in one basket, exactly; rather, I’m trying to cook them two different but complimentary ways.  It’s just a fact of the business that even when you’ve got things on multiple burners—which all writers should, if they’re serious about publishing—you find yourself waiting a lot while the pots simmer.  Four of my top agents have had my package for a long time now, and the publisher’s had my book for an eternity.  None of it’s empirical evidence, but the trends are looking good.  It’s just one of those times when I have to let things finish cooking, no matter how hungry I am.

Perhaps I should say starving?  Famished?  Or maybe follow Shakespeare and use the classic “in a consumption.”  Well, take your pick, whichever screams to you more loudly, “I HATE WAITING!”

See, told you.  Pretty cool, huh?

This fantastic red dragon is the work of a talented boy named Tysen (for those who can’t make out his name at the bottom right of the page).  He is a fourth grade student at Bell View Elementary, which I visited last month.  When I told the students that they could give their teachers pictures of dragons to be sent to me I thought I might get a few, but I never expected this!

It’s too bad that somewhere on the journey from Tysen’s talented fingers to my scanner the dragon’s right wing was torn off and lost with the top of the page (I would loved to have seen this wyrm’s full wingspan).  Despite that and a few small tears, the pictures is still hugely impressive.  Truly a terrifying dragon.  Look at the mane of spines and the scaly ridges at the joints.  I’ve never seen a red dragon, but I assume when I do it will look pretty much like this.  I only hope the fire isn’t aimed at me.

Tysen, if you read this, be sure to keep drawing.  You’ve got a real talent.  And you know, I can always use more pictures of dragons, especially if they’re green….

And that goes for any kid out there.  If you have a drawing of a dragon or a story about them—or any magical creature, or anything else, really—and would like me to share your talent with the world here on my blog, then tell your teacher or school librarian or principal or parents.  Tell them to invite me to your school so that we can share stories and silly pictures (only schools I visit know how silly), and so I can see the wonderful things you’ve created, and, if you want, show them so the rest of the world can see them too—right here.

Somehow, linguistics and language issues—particularly semantics—manage to infiltrate every book I write.  I don’t mean in application, but in commentary: I actually make statements on my thoughts and feelings about how language works in my stories.  It isn’t something that I seek; rather, I’ve come to consider it one element of my style, these passages of metalanguage (there’s a lot of metafiction in some, too).  What, you want an example?  Okay, well, in my never-to-be-named-on-this-site-until-sold children’s fantasy (which a publisher has had in entire manuscript form—requested—for one year this week), I have a fairy who majored in Homo Sapien Semantics and Semiotics or, as she explains to my confused protagonist, “What humans call stuff.” 

And just a few days ago a linguistic element popped into my head for a potential sequel to the above-mentioned book.  Can’t go into much detail, but the situation involves a great leader who is given magical powers and protection due to her station, and who later abandons her post.  In this crisis, someone has to replace her, only he doesn’t receive all the abilities and protections that came with her official position.  His interim position comes with a kind of runner’s up set of powers, headlined by—don’t know who’ll get this, but I love it—magic stupid powers.  NOT stupid magic powers.  

I was going to write just what I mean by the distinction (for those who, quite reasonably, aren’t aware of how the six—I think it’s six?—level hierarchy of English adjectives is structured), but I think I’ll make you wait for the book’s release.  That may be, I don’t know, about four years.  I guess that makes this a teaser.  Well in advance.  Well, well in advance.

Anyway, does anyone have linguistic issues spontaneously pop up in their creative writing?  You know, commenting on the complexity of article use, literally, by referring to the fact that ”a 360 degree angle” is correct and ”the 360 degree angle” isn’t for the first introduction of said angle?  (It has to do with that whole definite/indefinite thing…)  If so, I have only one thing to say…

How weird are you?

*****

In other news, when I visit schools I offer to post drawings of dragons that kids do here on the site.  I think the first such drawing is in the mail (the educator swears she’s already sent it).  When I get it, I’ll post it here for everyone to enjoy, along with proper attribution for the student.        

I know, I know, it’s been a while since my last post. I’ll have you know that I wasn’t just lazing about. I wish I had been lazing about, but I wasn’t. In the odd moments I found between doing everything else and being strangely sick for a single day, I wrote and posted another essay on writing for members of the site. It’s called In the Beginning… It’s about beginnings.

So, if you’re interested in three characteristics I try to imbue in every beginning I write, check it out. If you’re a member, just head to the Essays section. That’s right, I know; if you aren’t a member then there is no Essays section. You should take this as a message from the cosmos that you are dangerously deviating from the will of the universe, which is, I am confident, that you become a member of my site. To do so, ignore that stupid Subscribe via RSS or Subscribe via Email box that I’ve never been able to make work. Instead, go to my Home Page, look to the bottom left, and follow the instructions. When you’ve finished the process your penance for being wayward will be over and you will see the Essay section and all its hidden knowledge is now available to you in reward for your returning to the ways of the right.